now that i’ve left, i stand on the outside looking in and things kind of shift into perspective. or rather, shift into a different perspective.
now that i’m no longer in that situation, i hear complaints and rants of people who still are, and i wonder,
hell, was that me too before i stepped away?
was i that annoying, that whiny?
was i that Stupid to keep on talking about it, to keep on ranting and grumbling while not having the common sense or courage to simply remove myself from the very situation that was causing that much trouble?
and well, the hard truth of the answer is: yes, i was.
and looking back, i really wonder Why i was that stupid. Why i didnt do the logical thing, why i didnt have any strength to fight.
and i guess, that’s also because i’d been indoctrinated with the concept of how leaving is the weak thing to do, how leaving is the coward’s way out.
but in retrospect, Staying was the coward’s way.
staying meant maintaining status quo. it meant not rocking the boat. it meant not doing anything that made sense.
looking back, the only thing i regret, is not having had the courage to make my decision earlier. not opening my eyes sooner. not fighting for myself when i should already have. i wasted So Much of my own time.
it was never about who was right and who was wrong. it never is.
it’s merely about finding what works for you.
life isnt about absolutes. it’s about your own zufriedenheit.
so. the point of all this is, simply: the next time i ever find myself in a similar situation, in one that makes me unhappy, that makes me a non-stop whiner-complainer-grumbler, that causes that much frustration, i will no longer give the excuse of having no choice, i will no longer weakly submit to status quo, i will no longer be that stupid to force myself to accept what doesnt benefit me.
du bist da, um zu kämpfen.
i am Serah.
i am a warrior. and fight damn well i will.
(Quelle: m0rtality, via lovemetoinfinity)