we wound up having class tonight at a friend’s church and for some reason, well, of course, it brought me back to all those times we used to spend hanging in der Kirche for entire days on end. when die Kirche was our freaking playground and we knew every nook and inch of it.
i remembered all the little things i’d never given much thought to before: climbing and running through main audi and all the little rooms we used to play in before afternoon service when we were little; the back storage areas we had to access to get files back in the transparency days; lugging them up to sound room; having to write out the verses and race to find page numbers before the days of powerpoint; having to memories song numbers; hanging in sound room during service when we wanted to slack; sleeping in the creche during afternoon breaks because we were so exhausted from serving OL; post afternoon service snacks and fellowship at the foyer where we’d hang forever before finally going for dinner and then supper and desserts; having to go up to 5th floor to enlarge song sheets for cell and sticking them up on either office or 02-34 walls; the days i spent alone in our old theatrette at the keyboard when i was editing our entire songbook’s chords; the people at Soto Soto knowing my order so well that whenever i appeared all they had to ask was “一样?” which meant prawn noodle soup without prawns; browsing faithworks for every birthday…
sometimes i still cant believe that all of those things are only memories now. mere memories of things i will never again do.
i never in my wildest dreams imagined how much things would change, how they could come to this.
it’s so surreal.
maybe i am just a sentimental fool for feeling things so much and so deeply, always too deeply, but,
we grew up together.
we were Family.
why was it so hard to agree to disagree, to allow diversity?
in the end, all the years of relationship and love wasnt enough. nothing could stop the tide. nothing counted for anything anymore.
Love wasnt enough.
"约内的关系" meant nothing.
i guess i was just a fool to ever have believed in ‘forever’.
we move on, yes, but i have long given up on ever being able to forget.